May 1, 2013 - May Day! 

No lame excuses.  I just haven't been blogging.  I haven't been writing in my journals.  I haven't been working on my stories at all.  What I have been doing is contemplating how much trouble I would get in if I dumped all of my writing into large, metal cylinder, pour kerosene over it, and toss in a match.  I am at that point in my life where I could just walk away from my writing forever...

and then...

I'm sitting at my desk at work and someone looks over my shoulder and says, "You’re a writer?"

"Yes, I am." Without hesitation or doubt I answer.  I mean it.  And I'm proud.  I am a writer.

So, here I am wavering between self-doubt and self-loathing.  Wondering why I abuse my craft.  I am a writer, why am I not writing?  I don't stop writing.  My eyes are closed and I constructing my story.  I am an artist.  My words are my medium.  I cannot "not" write.

Ok, so I can't stop.  Now, it's time to take those steps that will propel me forward to the next level.  If I don't make it at least I tried.  And there in the truth of the matter is that, trying is the most important point.  Failure is just the universes way of asking you to do it again.

There are times when I really wished my mom was still here.  Whenever I got to the point where I would threaten to burn, shred, or delete my writing, she would offer to keep it until I wanted it back.  It never took long before I was asking for it.

Now, I just ignore it.  It's all laying in a corner waiting.  Soon, I'll come back to it.  

Very soon.