Ramadan 2012...oh yes I did!

Ramadan 2012 -
I want to say that I am not Muslim.  But on July 18th while looking at my calendar I noticed that July 20th was the beginning of Ramadan.  Curious me, I went on the internet to do a little research about this time of year and what it stands for.


Ramadan 2012 is the largest Muslim religious holiday celebrated each year.  During Ramadan, Muslims are encouraged to fast and simplify their lifestyles by removing temptations and focusing their energies on their religion. Ramadan is a time for purity and wholesome living.


(I could use some of that, I think to myself.)


During Ramadan, Muslims are called upon to re-evaluate their lifestyles and make amends with others who have done harm in the past.  The Arabic word for fasting is “sawm” and this word literally means to refrain, and fasting during Ramadan includes refraining from food, sex, drink, as well as bad thoughts and actions.  Every part of the body is encouraged to refrain from bad deeds during the month of Ramadan 2012.


(Bloody brilliant, I think to myself.)


What better way to clear the clutter of your mind and stay fresh.  But can a woman who loves food go without food ALL DAY?!  After a little more searching I find that Muslims eat a small meal (very, very) early in the morning.  Before sunrise (which here in my area is about 4:40 am), then they refrain from food and water all day long until sunset (about 8:00 pm in my area).  So Friday morning I get up (before the crack of dawn and eat) then this is how my days go:


Day 1 - 

It’s almost 4:00pm, only 4 hours until Sunset.  I made a small indiscretion and ate breakfast past the “Begin Fasting” time.  I stopped eating at 5:00am or a little after.  Had a little twinge at lunch time, but actually got through lunch ok.  When I was in Karen’s office I wanted a piece of her candy, but I kept reminding myself. “Ramadan, Ramadan.”  I’m actually getting hungry now.  I think that if I can get home and stay busy I can keep myself from wanting to eat right away.  I’m going to stop at the grocery and pick up my schedule, then head home and wash clothes.  The weather has been horrible and rainy, my clothes are not going to dry quickly.  It hasn’t been a bad experience on the other hand, it is only day 1 for the girl who has never done anything like this.  I think the challenging part will be the time after I get home.  It has been kind of refreshing not thinking about ‘what’ to eat and remembering to bring food at all.  I keep telling myself if millions of Muslims are doing it, it has to be pretty safe. I kind of would like some water and I’m visualizing the iced jasmine tea in my fridge. 

The funniest part is I never realized how much food is a habit in my life.  Get up make coffee, grab a breakfast bar, drink coffee on the way to work, 11:30 find and eat food, pass by table grab cookies, snack on the way home in the car…all that is just “food habit.”

Day 2 -
Well, day 2 did have a few hitches.  The first is that I cannot go 8 hour at the store without water.  I could feel myself getting dehydrated.  But water was the only thing I had.  I bought sushi for the ride home since I got off at 8pm and my brother treated me to Popeyes.  I am so tired.  Working around all that food is so hard!  I wanted candy bad.  The hardest times are right around breakfast and from 5pm until its time to go.  Im exhAusted. So I'm heading off to bed.


Day 3 -
So with only my water to get me through the day, I make it through.  I felt better on day 3 than I did on day 2.  The absolute hardest part is eating at so early before fast begins.  I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.  This is the hardest part for me.
Its easier to observe now that there's an app for fasting/break fasting times. Observing during the week is way easier than the weekend.


Day 4 -
Today I wanted to give up.  Today I just wanted to sleep.  I pulled myself out of bed @ 4:30am and weighed.  I'm down 4.5 lbs. If I stop eating before  5am I'm doing good, right?.  I just can't get up in the morning.  If I can just get to the weekend.  I'm off and I can rest.  There may be something in this for me after all.


Day 5 -
The days are easy.  But when I get home it gets hard.  I usually have about three hours before I can eat.  I need to stay busy but thats the time when I want to sit.  Once I am sitting I want to watch tv.  Then I have the desire to eat. I went to the gym last night and did 30 minutes on the bike.  I was concerned but I didn't have any problems.


Day 6 -
Ok, today I am jonesing for coffee.  I mean really bad.  The last few days have not effected me at all but today. OMG.  Tonight after 8p, I can order some, but I won't want it then.  I'm going to have to start setting my coffee pot for 4am so I can sit and enjoy a good cup of coffee in the morning.  The hunger I can easily over look.  I'm not too bothered by not having something to drink during the day.  But DAMN I want a cup of coffee.  The good news, I'm looking forward to having the weekend off, doesn't make me want coffee any less.  Woke up so tired today.  I know I'm not doing quite as well as a Muslim would.  But I'm doing pretty good for a crazy lady, at least I think I am.  Heck, I've almost made it a whole week.  Go me!


I'm learning a lot about myself.  Some I refused to believe, some I'm proud of, and still other's I really need to work on.  I'm not going to give up, unless I'm forced to for health reasons.  I must say that it is nice that I don't think about food, dream and dwell on it, because I know that it is beyond my reach until late in the evening.  But with ONE hour until sunset, I can't wait to partake in a beverage at my local coffee shop.  

July 18, 2012 - Wednesday...again.

Storms are brewing all around the Kenner and Metairie basin.  The sky is getting darker and darker and the flashes of lightning faster and faster.  A sense of anticipation in the air.

It's Wednesday, half way through July, it's hot, and the a/c in my car is broke again.  I'm starting to prepare myself for the fact that my 11 year old car just seems to be in the shop a lot.

I like my Wednesdays, sitting in French Press, drinking coffee and blogging.  It's my time to escape the hum drum day, the monotony of my world.  Think about where my life is heading, where it should be heading.

On the way here I stopped to feed my need for pens.  I went into Office Depot and bought Post-its that support a cause, "Born This Way Foundation," and blue Papermate 300 pens.  Go Office Depot! Go Lady Ga-Ga!

The price of gas is starting to rise again.  I pissed that I never got my chance to pay $2.99 a gal. for gas.  WTH.  I still don't understand the business of oil and this is saying something as I grew up in Alaska a state full of oil.  Apparently the "Business of Oil" was not one of my classes growing up.

My mind is meandering.  Wandering.  If you see it out and about would you mind popping it on the butt and sending it home.  I really need it to take care of some things tonight.

I'm thinking about high-heel shoes, and red lipstick.  About Bora-Bora and hotel beds under the ocean floor.    I'm thinking about living out of a trailer and just scooting back and forth across the US.  I'm thinking about vacations.

It will probably start raining just as I walk out the door to go home.  At least if I get wet I will be headed home and it won't matter so much.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Blank pages.  Gray skies.  Empty bowls.  Out of coffee...

I decided to move the living room furniture around.  It's been a three day adventure.  But what it's left me with is a tiny little space called the "office."  A space of about 5 ft x 5 ft.  Previously the "cat room" it now contains my des, my printer, a spot for my lap top and a white wire shelf that spans two sides of the three walls.  But it's "my" office.  Just a place to park my butt and write, away from the TV.  Has it worked?  Not yet.  I've paid my bills and checked my e-mail.  So what's missing?

My butt...parked!  Can't write if I don't use the space.  The space its self is not going to write the story, owning the membership to the gym is not going to make me thin, just buying the lottery ticket won't make me rich.  Then what does it take.  Commitment, perseverance, and work.  

(The butt shifts)

Writing requires a virtual pact.  You promise to love, honor, and cherish your work.  (through the first phase) Then you change, mold, and re-write. (to what you really wanted in the first place but didn't get, until the last phase) When you decide the two of you must make a concerted effort to grow and change together until you reach the realization you are now both, older and mature.

(Butt rises, then eases back down)

Sure everything is going along fine, then...WHAM!  The car breaks down, the kid gets sick, the cell phone company says you’re a month behind [I wondered why there was an extra fifty bucks in the account.].  All you want to do is sit down and drink while watching Doctor Who from David Tennant through Matt Smith.  But you don't.  Just like your writing you push through the self-doubt, wade through the self-defeat, climb up on the skinny life raft called hope and ride the rapid until you feel safe and comfortable again.  

(Squeaking sound)

It's the daily grind. (not just java people) But work.  Boring, monotonous, and then all hell breaks loose and your sent scrambling before the floor falls in.  You keep writing, just like every day you get up go to work until the bell rings, and you go running to your car, and tearing out of the parking lot.  But you DO IT EVERYDAY OR YOU DON'T GET PAID.  No excuses, get your ass to work.

It doesn't seem so hard.  And yet, I let a million things get in the way.  Like moving the furniture when I should have just stopped and sat down and wrote.  On the other hand, the apartment does look pretty good now, and I have an office.