When the days start to bleed...

Day 1, led into Day 2, then day four, five and six flew by.  Truthfully I don't know what the day is now.  I have not worked on my writing in a few days.  I've been kind of blah and stressed at the same time.  Overwhelmed and under motivated.  Why? Keeps popping up in my vocabulary.  And I have managed to break every single one of my resolutions.  Because of the stress I'm back to watching TV for escape, which is causing me to not want to do anything else including go to the gym.  I'm drinking more coffee to combat the fatigue and that means less water.  Staying up later and not staying on routine.  The only resolution I managed to keep was reading more  but it hasn't been much more.  And I'm feeling so off center about everything.  Vicious, vicious circle.

The first week of January (poof) gone.  And here I sit at the monitor trying to find out what direction to go.

I was laying in bed after my nap.  I started thinking. I wonder if I can go a whole month without turning on the TV.  What would that (1) change make in my life?  Can I really go thirty whole days without flipping on my good ole' TV?  Sadly, even I don't think I could make it a whole month.  Then again it might be worth a try.  I was going to say wait until Monday, isn't that the best day to start change, but I don't think I should wait that long.  I need to put a sign on the TV - Do not turn me on by punishment of painful death.  Put a calendar up to mark the days I am successful.  Just do it.  (No Nike, you do not get any money cause I said that.)

OMG - that cuts me out of the BCS game between Bama and LSU.  I guess I could go to the gym.  If I'm at the gym then it wouldn't count, right?  Kind of like a candy bar and diet coke cancel each other out.  Ok, the rule will be I can't turn on the TV in my house for a month.  If I want to watch TV I have to go to the gym.  Hmmm, almost sounds fair.

One step...quite an adventure.

Day 2

I kept with some of my resolutions today.  I did get some exercise.  I did try to stay on a routine today.  I did work on my story.  It wasn't the main focus of my day, but it's still early in the year.  


I got through the first couple of chapters.  My main focus is getting through the story making minor changes as I read it and keeping the time line straight.  I've always been a slow reader so I couldn't expect to have gotten very far in the novel.  But I am working on it.  Like drops of water in a bucket, drop by drop the bucket will fill.  So too will my story come together, letter by letter, word by word, page by page.  


Since staying positive was also one of my resolutions.  I will try to stay positive about my writing as well as the other aspects of my life.  While visiting a friend of mine between rounds of wii golf and bowling she happened to mention to me the Japanese idea of Kaizen.  The word Kaizen is Japanese for "improvement", or "change for the better" it refers to a philosophy or practice that focuses upon continuous improvement of processes.  But more than just continuous improvement it is small increments of change.  


Here is to a year of slow change.  As the river slowly turns right we will turn right with the flow and as it flows back to the left we shall gently flow with it.  Which is, I was reminded today, how you block an attack in some of the martial arts, moving with the action and deflecting at the same time.  


I'm going back to my story for another 30 minutes then I'm off to bed.  Tomorrow we working on getting a routine down.  

Day 1

Writing is always a collective art.  Even if it is a collection of friends helping you stay on track, a collection of sounds and smells that add depth to the story, a collection of experiences that give your writing range and dimension.  

Rule for the day: Make a deadline.

Mine is June 1, 2012.  I hope to have my novel, "A Boy in a Wig and a Dress" edited with all of the continuity problems worked out, the story line strong and the whole piece ready to load into a Create Space template to get my first proof.  The June 1st deadline means I need to get off my butt and stop talking about writing and actually do what needs to be done to finish on time.  

I truly believe of all the things in my life that if I don't see one of my pieces bound and in book form, that, would be my only regret.  I have always lived my life believing that you should have no regrets.  So when I get to the precipice of a decision I always ask myself.  "If I don't do this, will I regret it?"  If the answer is yes,  there will be regret then I usually do it.  I remember asking my self that very question before going to Europe for 6 weeks.  Even though I am probably still paying for this little adventure. I know I would have regretted not going.  There are many other questions that I have applied that question to.  Prom? No regrets.  Not having children? No regrets (though I suppose this could change, but I don't think so).  Leaving a good job to return to New Orleans? Nope.  Even though there was struggle in the beginning.  Sometimes we look back over our lives and we ask if we had done things differently what would have happened.  But the truth is, I look back over my life and I know why each and everything had to happen to get me here.  And "here" I am, teetering on  the edge again knowing that if I do not do this...I will regret it.

And so, I must do it! 

 My circle took me to Augusta, Georgia where I met another writer like myself.  The information he shared was about a writing contest called Nanowrimo that had been going on for about five years before I got started.  With his coxing (though at the time I was sure it was some weird way to get money from me) I signed up.  The goal, write 50,000 words in 30 days.  I wrote 4,000.  The guy who got me started wrote only a few thousand more than me and explained that he sort of gave up at the end.  It's funny because I'm not sure what drove me to do it again, but I jumped into 2005 with more enthusiasm than I thought I could ever find in my heart for writing.  Not only did I finish, but I came out with A Boy in a Wig in a Dress, that's right it's the one I am trying to get ready for this year.  My writing pal did not finish in 2005 and actually admitted to me he had given up on the whole thing. 

The only years I did not finish were 2006, that was the year my mother's health began to decline and in November I was by her side in a hospital room writing on my computer when she feel asleep at night.  She passed away in 2007. I finished that year.  In 2008, I did not finish.  The loss of my sister in July of 2008 was still too fresh and my heart just was not in it.  Don't get me wrong I have participated EVERY YEAR since I started.  But, it was only 3 years out of 8 years that I did not finish with a mini-novel. 

Yet, of all those years I have never taken it a step further.  Which is why it is so important to surround yourself with other writers.  They all provide for you a little piece to your puzzle.  One may have the secret on how to set up a scene, one may be able to tell you how to get the most from the internet, another will tell you all about how to market your novel.  All of them will encourage you to keep writing and moving forward.  They are important in the journey that you have ahead of you and mine are so valuable to me that I am thankful for each and everyone.  I say "are" because they are not past tense, they are very much "present."  

Keep looking for the parts to the whole.  

Persistence.  Preservation.  Perspiration.  

That is what I expect to need to get this done.   

Here's to a year of "gettin' it done."

Cheers!

-raenboe-